As we limped the van back to Moose Jaw, we lost more electrical systems on the way. The dash and instrument lights died and so did the gauges. Also, we didn’t have blinkers or fog lights. We stayed at the Super 8 which was next door to a parts store that opened at 8am.
Glenn spent the evening researching junkyards and parts store across down looking for a new bumper cover and fog lights. I spent my evening dumping files to the hard drives. He found a junkyard in Oregon (on our path) that had a gold T&C with all our parts. Woo hoo. In the morning, he called to secure the parts and put them on hold for a week.
We got carbs-breaky at the hotel. Not their best breakfast.
After a short walk to the auto parts store, we got some gorilla tape, light bulbs, and other supplies.
Since we had a tub, Glenn used the shower to wash off all the brains, guts, blood, and hair slathered all over the bits of bumper cover. I advised him, “What I need you to do…is to take those cleaning products and clean the broken bumper of the car. I’m talking fast, fast, fast. You need to go in and scoop up all those little pieces of brain and skull–get it out of there…wipe down the bumper cover. Now, when it comes to the inner fender…it don’t need to be spic-and-span. You don’t need to eat off it. Just give it a good once-over. What you need to take care of… are the really messy parts. The pools of blood that have collected, you gotta soak that shit up. We’re going to line the inner fender and the bumper cover with duct tape or gorilla tape, so if a cop stops us, and starts sticking his big snout around the car, the subterfuge won’t last, but at a glance the car will appear to be normal. Glenny, lead the way. Boys, get to work.”
Glenn had the audacity to ask me for a “please.”
After the requisite “pretty please with sugar on top, clean the fucking car,” we took all the cleaned busted parts of the bumper cover and inner fender, and started taping. I worked on the exterior parts because I have an eye for detail and aesthetics, and Glenn worked on the inner fender pieces because he can make sure it won’t fall apart and rub on the tire.
With the parts reassembled, we reinstalled them back on the minivan.
We had a fun idea. Since our blink light was F’ed, we just rigged up the broken fog light hole with an orange light bulb, and wired it up to the old blinker wiring.
Sweet. Now we are street legal and ready to hit the road.
On the way to the Rockies.
